Weisenberg is now suing Kraft (maker of Planters peanuts) for damages. He’s already done some homework, retaining a forensic lab to test the bone and determine that no bone was present at the time that the nuts were dry-roasted. Yet, the bone was coated in the same material as the nuts. Kraft responded by denying any wrongdoing.

When asked if he would think about eat peanuts again any time soon, Weisenberg said no way, “it gives you the willies.”

Look at the size of that bone. How did he not feel the thing in his hand or at least when he put the nuts in his mouth?

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Tagle was convicted of abuse after jurors determined that she gave the mix to an autistic student in order to teach him lesson. She tried to argue that it was her drink and that the kid took it from her desk without permission. Really teacher? That’s all you could come up with? Put 12 people in a room and chances are 8 are idiots, but you’re not even going to convince those 8 idiots that you like to drink soda with hot sauce in it. You’re the one with special needs…

Tagle was not found guilty for other charges of abuse, including allegations that she pulled the hair of some students and required other students to spend the day in soiled diapers.

Tagle’s attorney defended her by saying that she’s just a strict teacher who is dedicated to performing at her job as a teacher. Okay, he should be the one force fed her special brew. Tagle faces 5 years in prison.

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Maldonado was not charged with anything relating to the sexual relations with her dog, as bestiality is not illegal in Florida. However, those photos did result in her being terminated from her job with – GET THIS – the Flagler County Humane Society. Yeah, this woman worked with animals for 9 years at a veterinary technician. Apparently, that was like letting Michael Jackson work at Kids ‘R Us.

She faces up to 12 years in prison and will have to register as a sex offender. Maldonado’s Husband (check out her photo and tell me that this doesn’t prove that there’s someone for everyone) was also charged with 50 counts of possession of child porn. He is also accused of recording the images of his Wife’s illegal sexcapades.

Carla Maldonado was arrested for having sex with a dog and teen. Judging by that mug, looks like she was the lucky one.

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The 74-year old father reported that his car had been stolen late at night. Cops “cracked” the case (ha ha ha) when they saw the son walking home from a neighboring street at 4 in the morning. They caught the guy who was driving the car after he crashed the Lincoln into 2 parked vehicles. Obviously, we’re looking at a whole bunch of winners here.

The driver – who had gotten the deal of a lifetime – was arrested on charges of evading an officer and resisting arrest. The crackhead son was arrested for theft of a vehicle.

Some people are book smart. Some people are street smart. Apparently, these guys are neither. Their sentence should be going back to school…whattya say?

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Buddha shaped pears

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After a girlfriend convinced the man to come to a motel, she tied him to the bed with sheets and blindfolded him with a pillow case. Sounds kinky…..BUT, it wasn’t. After the man was bound to the bed, the girlfriend texted the other two ladies, who entered the room and confronted the man-whore. Their slapping him around a bit was just the pre-party of what was about to come.

The women cut off his underwear, super glued his penis to his stomach, and left him. Boy, they really stuck it to him!

The women have been charged with false imprisonment and misdemeanor sexual assault and battery. The man gave testimony in an orange jumpsuit – not all that surprisingly, he was arrested on separate charges: CHILD ABUSE, theft and harassment.

Did the man deserve to have his man meat superglued to his stomach? Did he deserve worse?

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Turns out that Kelly himself was the “brother.” He was caught when his new “employee’s” Husband waited for and followed him after his Wife left “work” one day. Of course, he witnesses Kelly leave the home and drive away. He followed Kelly and, upon confronting him, Kelly spilled the beans (no, not in his pants).

Kelly was arrested for his deception and is being held on $5,500 bond.

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The “pee pee policeman” was arrested and now faces 6 possible charges: battery, burglary of a car, fraud impersonation of a law enforcement officer while committing a felony, marijuana possession and possession of narcotic paraphernalia. Hey, what about theft???

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One of the smarty-pants jurors (“Juror Jonathan” of Fayetteville, Arkansas) tweeted the following message on twitter: “oh and nobody buy Stoam. Its [sic] bad mojo and they’ll probably cease to Exist, now that their wallet is 12m lighter.” What is it with these people? If you are going to break a rule, be a little smarter and don’t broadcast it to the world. This bozo blunder is painstakingly reminiscent of the Judge Lawyer Ex Parte Communication on Facebookstory.

For those you don’t know what twitter is (do you sleep all day?), its basically a system where people broadcast what they are doing, for all the world to see. If you don’t know what twitter is, chances are you won’t understand why it would even exist. Fortunately or unfortunately, it’s a world full of yentas, and some people are obsessed with reading that Jack loves eating his cherry pie, or that Wanda is reading a book that she is enjoying soooo much.

The problem with Juror Jonathan is that jurors are usually told not to discuss or share any information about the trial to or with the public. Good one, Jonathan.

So we’re entering the realm of twitter legal issues. Well here’s my tweet for the day – Lawyer Lunch: Hey Jonathan, if you wanted out of the jury, you could’ve just pulled the good ‘ole Larry David stunt!

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Judge Terry was presiding over a child custody and support case. The attorneys and the judge began discussing Facebook, and before you know it, the judge and defense counsel became Facebook friends. Big deal, right? Nothing wrong with being friends… There is, however, something wrong with a JUDGE WHO PUBLICLY DISCUSSES HIS VIEW OF THE CASE WITH ONE OF THE ATTORNEYS and an ATTORNEY WHO PUBLICLY KISSES THE ASS OF THE JUDGE, FOR THE JUDGE TO SEE. Seriously, that’s what happened.

During that day at court, the attorneys and Judge were discussing an alleged marital affair. Defense counsel posted something on his Facebook wall asking how to prove it. The Judge then wrote on the lawyer’s wall that he “had two good parents to choose from” and that he “feels that he will be back in court,” meaning, according to the reprimand, that the case would not be settled. Of course, the attorney publicly responded to the Judge’s message: “I have a wise Judge.” Actually, it appears you’re a bunch of bozos. The ex parte facebook communications continued.

The next day, during trial, defense counsel wrote on his wall, “I hope I’m in my last day of trial.” Of course, the judge had to reply, giving a little hint: “You are in your last day of trial.”

This wasn’t like one of those situations where you find yourself in the elevator with your judge. This wasn’t even like being at lunch with your judge. Instead, this was like you and your judge standing on benches across a park from one another, having a conversation with each other via megaphones or loudspeakers. Honestly guys, you must be somewhat intelligent…what the hell were you thinking?

Anyway, the Judge disqualified himself and a new trial will be held. Who friended who is unknown, but really, who cares?

Query: Is it legal or ethically ok to friend an opposing party on Facebook, Myspace, or another social networking site in order to get dirt on them? Does the act of “friending” in and of itself constitute an unauthorized communication?

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