Tagle was convicted of abuse after jurors determined that she gave the mix to an autistic student in order to teach him lesson. She tried to argue that it was her drink and that the kid took it from her desk without permission. Really teacher? That’s all you could come up with? Put 12 people in a room and chances are 8 are idiots, but you’re not even going to convince those 8 idiots that you like to drink soda with hot sauce in it. You’re the one with special needs…

Tagle was not found guilty for other charges of abuse, including allegations that she pulled the hair of some students and required other students to spend the day in soiled diapers.

Tagle’s attorney defended her by saying that she’s just a strict teacher who is dedicated to performing at her job as a teacher. Okay, he should be the one force fed her special brew. Tagle faces 5 years in prison.

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Maldonado was not charged with anything relating to the sexual relations with her dog, as bestiality is not illegal in Florida. However, those photos did result in her being terminated from her job with – GET THIS – the Flagler County Humane Society. Yeah, this woman worked with animals for 9 years at a veterinary technician. Apparently, that was like letting Michael Jackson work at Kids ‘R Us.

She faces up to 12 years in prison and will have to register as a sex offender. Maldonado’s Husband (check out her photo and tell me that this doesn’t prove that there’s someone for everyone) was also charged with 50 counts of possession of child porn. He is also accused of recording the images of his Wife’s illegal sexcapades.

Carla Maldonado was arrested for having sex with a dog and teen. Judging by that mug, looks like she was the lucky one.

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The 74-year old father reported that his car had been stolen late at night. Cops “cracked” the case (ha ha ha) when they saw the son walking home from a neighboring street at 4 in the morning. They caught the guy who was driving the car after he crashed the Lincoln into 2 parked vehicles. Obviously, we’re looking at a whole bunch of winners here.

The driver – who had gotten the deal of a lifetime – was arrested on charges of evading an officer and resisting arrest. The crackhead son was arrested for theft of a vehicle.

Some people are book smart. Some people are street smart. Apparently, these guys are neither. Their sentence should be going back to school…whattya say?

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Turns out that Kelly himself was the “brother.” He was caught when his new “employee’s” Husband waited for and followed him after his Wife left “work” one day. Of course, he witnesses Kelly leave the home and drive away. He followed Kelly and, upon confronting him, Kelly spilled the beans (no, not in his pants).

Kelly was arrested for his deception and is being held on $5,500 bond.

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Kathleen Neill was being photographed by Zach Hyman, a photographer who often shoots (with a camera!) naked women in public places. Hyman had this to say: “Everything was going perfect until the very end. Then it became a worst-case scenario.” A warrior of wit you are, Mr. Hyman. Sure everything was going perfect – you spent the day staring at a naked chick.

Does anyone else find this guy’s last name a bit ironic? With a story like this, you couldn’t make a name like that up…

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Judge Terry was presiding over a child custody and support case. The attorneys and the judge began discussing Facebook, and before you know it, the judge and defense counsel became Facebook friends. Big deal, right? Nothing wrong with being friends… There is, however, something wrong with a JUDGE WHO PUBLICLY DISCUSSES HIS VIEW OF THE CASE WITH ONE OF THE ATTORNEYS and an ATTORNEY WHO PUBLICLY KISSES THE ASS OF THE JUDGE, FOR THE JUDGE TO SEE. Seriously, that’s what happened.

During that day at court, the attorneys and Judge were discussing an alleged marital affair. Defense counsel posted something on his Facebook wall asking how to prove it. The Judge then wrote on the lawyer’s wall that he “had two good parents to choose from” and that he “feels that he will be back in court,” meaning, according to the reprimand, that the case would not be settled. Of course, the attorney publicly responded to the Judge’s message: “I have a wise Judge.” Actually, it appears you’re a bunch of bozos. The ex parte facebook communications continued.

The next day, during trial, defense counsel wrote on his wall, “I hope I’m in my last day of trial.” Of course, the judge had to reply, giving a little hint: “You are in your last day of trial.”

This wasn’t like one of those situations where you find yourself in the elevator with your judge. This wasn’t even like being at lunch with your judge. Instead, this was like you and your judge standing on benches across a park from one another, having a conversation with each other via megaphones or loudspeakers. Honestly guys, you must be somewhat intelligent…what the hell were you thinking?

Anyway, the Judge disqualified himself and a new trial will be held. Who friended who is unknown, but really, who cares?

Query: Is it legal or ethically ok to friend an opposing party on Facebook, Myspace, or another social networking site in order to get dirt on them? Does the act of “friending” in and of itself constitute an unauthorized communication?

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Kaplan and his posse also allegedly told gamblers that its operations were legal, and told them they could withdraw funds at any time. What were they gonna say, “don’t gamble here: it’s illegal, immoral, and we probably won’t pay out if you win”?

Betonsports, which was based in Costa Rica, stopped its operating ins 2006, with its customer base having lost over $16 million. Most people know that online gambling and sports betting is illegal, yet take their chances and hope to (A) win big, and (B) actually get paid on their winnings. Yet, what do you do in the event that you attempt to make a withdrawal but never receive the funds? There won’t be much recourse, at least not in the U.S.

Hey, maybe that’s Obama’s next plan to help the country: gold for gambling-losses.

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Stallworth, 28, spent 30 days in jail and reach an undisclosed financial settlement with the victim’s family. Critics say he got off easy. I’m sure TO disagrees. I mean come on, the man did have to live for a month outside of his palatial home. Plus, now his contract is really only worth a cool $28 mil. Where’s the justice!

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In related news, a 4-year-old Missouri girl was sentenced to 3 years hard labor for sneezing without covering her mouth.

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Big Bernie’s former finance chief Frank DiPascali plead guilty to 10 different counts today, including securities fraud and conspiracy. DiPascali, who admittedly knew of and was complacent with the fraud for over 20 years, blamed Madoff for ordering him to the things he did. Awwe, Frank, its not your fault. Cheer up, you’ve got lots to look forward to!

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