Lawyer Lunch » arrests

Miami Teacher Arrested for Putting Hot Sauce in Drink of Student

Brian Karpf — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:14:45 +0000

Sylvia Tagle, a teacher in Miami Lakes, Florida, was found guilty of abuse after she was caught putting hot sauce in a student’s drink. Oh yeah, she was a special needs teacher.

Tagle was convicted of abuse after jurors determined that she gave the mix to an autistic student in order to teach him lesson. She tried to argue that it was her drink and that the kid took it from her desk without permission. Really teacher? That’s all you could come up with? Put 12 people in a room and chances are 8 are idiots, but you’re not even going to convince those 8 idiots that you like to drink soda with hot sauce in it. You’re the one with special needs…

Tagle was not found guilty for other charges of abuse, including allegations that she pulled the hair of some students and required other students to spend the day in soiled diapers.

Tagle’s attorney defended her by saying that she’s just a strict teacher who is dedicated to performing at her job as a teacher. Okay, he should be the one force fed her special brew. Tagle faces 5 years in prison.

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Woman Arrested for Sex with Teen and Dog

Brian Karpf — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:14:25 +0000

41-year old Carla Rhea Maldonado has plead no contest to the infamous 2008 incident. Maldonado was charged after someone turned in a computer hard drive which contained pictures of her performing oral sex on a 15-year-old girl. What’s more, the drive also contained photos of her having sex with her dog, a German Shepherd.

Maldonado was not charged with anything relating to the sexual relations with her dog, as bestiality is not illegal in Florida. However, those photos did result in her being terminated from her job with – GET THIS – the Flagler County Humane Society. Yeah, this woman worked with animals for 9 years at a veterinary technician. Apparently, that was like letting Michael Jackson work at Kids ‘R Us.

She faces up to 12 years in prison and will have to register as a sex offender. Maldonado’s Husband (check out her photo and tell me that this doesn’t prove that there’s someone for everyone) was also charged with 50 counts of possession of child porn. He is also accused of recording the images of his Wife’s illegal sexcapades.

Carla Maldonado was arrested for having sex with a dog and teen. Judging by that mug, looks like she was the lucky one.

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Crack for Clunkers: Man Arrested for Trading Father’s Car for Crack

Brian Karpf — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:14:02 +0000

A 39-year-old Fresno, California man was arrested for attempting to trade his father’s car for crack cocaine – 50 bucks worth to be exact. 50 bucks?? I mean, lots of people swap things to get what they want. Usually, however, they consider something called FAIR VALUE. This was a Lincoln, not a Pinto – bad deal man. Some negotiator you are.

The 74-year old father reported that his car had been stolen late at night. Cops “cracked” the case (ha ha ha) when they saw the son walking home from a neighboring street at 4 in the morning. They caught the guy who was driving the car after he crashed the Lincoln into 2 parked vehicles. Obviously, we’re looking at a whole bunch of winners here.

The driver – who had gotten the deal of a lifetime – was arrested on charges of evading an officer and resisting arrest. The crackhead son was arrested for theft of a vehicle.

Some people are book smart. Some people are street smart. Apparently, these guys are neither. Their sentence should be going back to school…whattya say?

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Women Arrested for Super Gluing Man’s Penis

Brian Karpf — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:00:19 +0000

Yes, you read that correctly. The stint went down in Wisconsin, after three women found out they were dating the same man. He thought that he had outsmarted all of them by juggling a marriage (with children) and trysts with two other women for quite some time. Boy was he wrong, because (surprise surprise), the women all found out. His Wife and two girlfriends then decided to, um, take matters into their own hands. Literally.

After a girlfriend convinced the man to come to a motel, she tied him to the bed with sheets and blindfolded him with a pillow case. Sounds kinky…..BUT, it wasn’t. After the man was bound to the bed, the girlfriend texted the other two ladies, who entered the room and confronted the man-whore. Their slapping him around a bit was just the pre-party of what was about to come.

The women cut off his underwear, super glued his penis to his stomach, and left him. Boy, they really stuck it to him!

The women have been charged with false imprisonment and misdemeanor sexual assault and battery. The man gave testimony in an orange jumpsuit – not all that surprisingly, he was arrested on separate charges: CHILD ABUSE, theft and harassment.

Did the man deserve to have his man meat superglued to his stomach? Did he deserve worse?

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Man Tricks Women – Into Changing his Diaper!

Brian Karpf — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:00:56 +0000

A Florida man was arrested for tricking women into changing his diaper. 39-year-old Sean Kelly of Florida was arrested for hiring a woman to care for his disabled “brother.” He had agreed to pay her $2,000 per week to care for his sibling, whom he described as having the mental capacity of a 5-year-old. Guess what – it was all a lie!

Turns out that Kelly himself was the “brother.” He was caught when his new “employee’s” Husband waited for and followed him after his Wife left “work” one day. Of course, he witnesses Kelly leave the home and drive away. He followed Kelly and, upon confronting him, Kelly spilled the beans (no, not in his pants).

Kelly was arrested for his deception and is being held on $5,500 bond.

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Golden Arrest: Police Impersonator Forces Urine Test

Brian Karpf — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:00:31 +0000

While obviously wrong, the not-so-strange part of the story is that a 30-year-old Florida man was arrested for impersonating a cop. The bizarreness kicks in when you consider what the faux cop did: the police man imposter required a teen to give him a urine sample. No, contrary to popular belief, the his name was not Sal Governale or Richard Christy.

The “pee pee policeman” was arrested and now faces 6 possible charges: battery, burglary of a car, fraud impersonation of a law enforcement officer while committing a felony, marijuana possession and possession of narcotic paraphernalia. Hey, what about theft???

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Nude Model Arrested….For Being Nude

Brian Karpf — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:48:53 +0000

A 26-year-old model was arrested in New York for posing nude in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Not surprisingly, she was posing next to the classic nude paintings. No, the paintings weren’t arrested too.

Kathleen Neill was being photographed by Zach Hyman, a photographer who often shoots (with a camera!) naked women in public places. Hyman had this to say: “Everything was going perfect until the very end. Then it became a worst-case scenario.” A warrior of wit you are, Mr. Hyman. Sure everything was going perfect – you spent the day staring at a naked chick.

Does anyone else find this guy’s last name a bit ironic? With a story like this, you couldn’t make a name like that up…

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